Umshado: Isehlakalo Sesine

Njengoba umuntu ekhula futhi evuthwa, kuvuleka igebe elikhudlwana phakathi kwakhe nabazali bakhe nendawo azalwa futhi wakhulela kuyo, bese eqala ukufuna ukuthola ukuthi ukuphila kwakhe kuphokophele kuphi, enze imigomo yakhe ehlukile kweyabazali bakhe. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, usuke engasabadingi abazali bakhe, kodwa usuke esedinga umlingani azophila naye: umuntu azohlala naye, ukudalelwa komuntu okusondele eduze naye. Ngale ndlela, isenzakalo esikhulu umuntu abhekana naso umshado, isehlakalo sesine okumele adlule kuso.

1. Akukho Umuntu Angakukhetha Ngokuphathelene Nomshado

Umshado uyisehlakalo esiyisihluthulelo ekuphileni kwanoma imuphi umuntu; yisikhathi umuntu aqala ngaso ukuba nezibopho eziningi ekuphileni, aqale kancane kancane ukufeza izinhlobo ezahlukene zemisebenzi. Abantu baba nemicabango eminingi ngomshado ngaphambi kokuba bangene kuwo, futhi yonke le micabango mihle. Owesifazane wayecabanga ukuthi uyoshada neNkosana Ekhangayo, futhi owesilisa ecabanga ukuthi uyoshada neNkosazane Emhlophe Njengeqhwa. La maphupho abonisa ukuthi wonke umuntu unezimfuneko ezithile ngomshado, izinto azifunayo kanye namazinga azo. Nakuba kule nkathi enokukhohlakala abantu bevame ukukhohliswa ngemiyalezo eyihaba ngomshado, okwenza abaningi balindele okuningi, futhi kwenze abantu babe nayo yonke imibono engavamile, wonke umuntu oke washada uyazi ukuthi akunandaba ukuthi abantu bacabangani, akunandaba ukuthi abantu bawubheka kanjani, umshado owukho mayelana nemibono yabantu.

Umuntu uhlangana nabantu abaningi ekuphileni, kodwa akekho owaziyo ukuthi uyoshada nobani. Nakuba wonke umuntu enemibono yakhe mayelana nomshado, akekho ongabona ngaphambi kwesikhathi ukuthi uyoshada nobani, futhi imibono yomuntu ayisho lutho. Ngemva kokuhlangana nomuntu omthandayo, ungamshela lowo muntu; kodwa ukuthi yena uyakuthanda, noma ukuthi uzokwazi ukuba umlingani wakho, akuyona into enganqunywa nguwe. Okufunayo othandweni lwakho akuyena nje umuntu ozophilisana naye; futhi empilweni yakho kungavumbuka umuntu obungamlindele abe umlingani wakho, abe into ebaluleke kakhulu ekudalelweni kwakho, abe yingxenye yakho, lowo ukudalelwa kwakho okuboshelwe kuye ngokungenakuhlukaniswa. Ngakho nakuba kunezigidi zemishado emhlabeni, wonke umuntu wehlukile: Mingaki imishado engagculisi, mingaki ejabulayo, mingaki eyiMpumalanga neNtshonalanga, mingaki eyiNyakatho neNingizimu; bangaki odalelwe bona, bangaki abasezingeni lakho; bangaki abajabulayo nabanokuzwana, bangaki abezwa ubuhlungu nabanosizi; bangaki abanomona ngabanye, bangaki abangaqondwa futhi abangathandwa; bangaki abachichima injabulo, bangaki abageleza izinyembezi nabangenathemba…. Kulezi zinqwaba zemishado, abantu bembula ubuqotho nokuzibophezela ukuphila kwabo konke emshadweni, noma uthando, ukusondelana, nokungahlukani, noma ukushiya, nokungaqondi, noma ukukhashelwa kuwo, ngisho nenzondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umshado ngokwawo uletha injabulo noma ubuhlungu, umsebenzi wawo wonke umuntu ngomshado unqunywa uMdali futhi ngeke ushintshe; wonke umuntu kumele awufeze. Futhi ukudalelwa komuntu ngamunye emshadweni akushintshi; kunqunywe uMdali esikhathini eside ngaphambili.

2. Umshado Uzalwe Ukudalelwa Kwabantu Ababili

Umshado isehlakalo esikhulu ekuphileni komuntu. Uwumkhiqizo wokudalelwa komuntu, ihhuku elibalulekile ekudalelweni komuntu; awusekelwa ezintweni ezithandwa noma ezikhethwa yinoma imuphi umuntu, futhi awuthonywa izinto eziseceleni, kodwa unqunywa ngokuphelele ukudalelwa kwamaqembu amabili, ngamalungiselelo oMdali nokunqunyelwa kusengaphambili kokudalelwa kombhanqwana. Ngaphandle, injongo yomshado ibonakala iwukuqhubekisela phambili uhlanga lwesintu, kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi umshado usiko umuntu okufanele alwenze enqubweni yokufeza umsebenzi kaNkulunkulu. Izindima ezidlalwa abantu emshadweni okukhona nje ukukhulisa isizukulwane esilandelayo; ziyizindima ezehlukahlukene umuntu azithathayo nemisebenzi okumele ayifeze enkambweni yokulondoloza umshado. Njengoba ukuzalwa komuntu kubangela abantu ukuba bashintshe, izehlakalo nezinto ezibazungezile, umshado uyobathinta, futhi uzobashintsha ngezindlela eziningi ezingafani.

Lapho umuntu ezimela, uqala uhambo lwakhe empilweni, olumholela kancane kancane kubantu, ezehlakalweni, nasezintweni ezihlobene nomshado wakhe; futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo omunye umuntu ozoba ingxenye yalowo mshado uyasondela, kancane kancane kubantu abafanayo, ezehlakalweni, nasezintweni. Ngaphansi kobukhosi boMdali, abantu ababili abangahlobene, abanokudalelwa okukodwa bangena kancane kancane emshadweni, ngokumangalisayo, babe umndeni, “izintethe ezimbili ezisentanjeni eyodwa.” Ngakho lapho umuntu engena emshadweni, uhambo lwakhe ekuphileni luyothinta lona omunye oyingxenye yakhe, futhi nangendlela efanayo nohambo lomlingani womuntu luyothinta ukudalelwa kwempilo yakhe ngendlela efanayo. Ngamanye amazwi, ukudalelwa komuntu kunokuhlangana, futhi akekho ongafeza umsebenzi owodwa empilweni noma indima eyodwa ngokugcwele ngaphandle kwabanye. Ukuzalwa komuntu kuyiketango elide lobudlelwane; ukukhula nakho kuneketango elide lobudlelwane eliyinkimbinkimbi; ngendlela efanayo, ngeke kugwemeke ukuthi umshado ube khona futhi ulondolozwe ezindleleni eziningi eziyinkimbinkimbi, ezihlanganisa wonke amalungu, okuthonya ukudalelwa kwawo wonke umuntu onengxenye kuwo. Umshado awuwona umkhiqizo wamalungu emindeni emibili, izimo akhule ngaphansi kwazo, ukubukeka kwawo, iminyaka yawo, ubuntu bawo, amakhono awo, noma ezinye izinto; kunalokho, usuka emsebenzini ofanayo nasekudalelweni okuhambisana nakho. Lona umsuka womshado, umkhiqizo wokudalelwa komuntu oqondiswa futhi uhlelwe uMdali.

kwethi Izwi Livela Lisenyameni

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